The Truth About Friday's Family Fun Day

I had been planning this day for weeks. The last Friday before our kids went back to school meant our last day-long family fun day. I was sad but I was also bound to make the most of it.

First, we would wake up, AnDrew and I would have coffee on the porch and then we would go to our neighborhood pool for some swim time.

Then we would eat lunch and get ready to go back to school shoe shopping and stop for a surprise treat at Cookie Dough Bliss.

Finally, we would finish the day with pizza and a movie night.

Now that I read it back I picture Will Ferrell dressed up like an Elf reading it to me from an etch-a-sketch.

Here's what really happened:

Coffee on the porch was tense because we have 4 children who kept interrupting us wanting our attention. We didn't get to talk, and I didn't get to enjoy my coffee, so I cut it short and ran to the store.

When I got back the baby had drank over half of my iced vanilla latte, AnDrew (my husband) and I weren't on the same page and I didn't have the energy to get there so I steeped in my funkiness. And it took us an hour and a half to get ready for the pool.

But they sure were cute!

I had to take some deep breaths, talk to AnDrew and reset my attitude on the way to the pool. At this point it was only 11:30am. When we were there we had a great time...until our sweet ginger child decided to throw one of his famous tantrums. The baby also hit her afternoon wall but was confused because of all of the caffeine she drank so she was in a mood too. And my four year old was as emotional as a girl going through puberty.

We got home, had lunch, and instead of getting ready for shoe shopping we got ready for naps. I didn't smile much in the process. The youngest 2 took baths, the oldest 2 took showers and then the youngest 3 fought with all their might but you better believe they took naps. Praise the Lord for nap time!

At this time I let go of my expectations, because the day clearly wasn't going how I had planned. I drank a coffee (the whole one this time), took some more deep breaths, reset for the second time, and hung out with my oldest while my husband mowed the yard.

Decisions, decisions!

After nap we left for the special treat! Cookie Dough Bliss. The kids loved it, however, the sugar rush didn't help the shoe shopping process. My sweet ginger child threw yet another fit before we even got out of the car, my four year old couldn't stay still, I thought we lost the baby once, and I thought someone stole my phone at one point too. It was chaotic and, yet again, not as much fun as I had hoped. I wound up taking the youngest 2 back to the car to wait while daddy checked out with the oldest two and their new shoes.

She was the only one who behaved so, naturally, she's the only one I could take a picture of!

At home 3/4 of the kids threw a fit because they didn't want to watch the movie we picked out. We told them they could go to bed instead. I was tired and disappointed that my kids weren't super grateful for the day we just had.

Positivity is one of my top 5 strengths. (See Strengths Finder). So throughout the day I focused on the positives (hence the pictures and my Instastory). You know, the times when my kids weren't arguing or getting on my nerves. The times when they had wonder in their eyes instead of when they were acting like entitled teenagers. We had some great moments, but after I let myself be honest about the day, I was disappointed.

Guess who's fault that was?

Mine.

So you know what I did when the kids were watching the movie that they had initially thrown a fit about watching?

I started reading a parenting book.

In my almost 8 short years of parenting I have learned that if my kids are regularly on my nerves, or their behavior doesn't match the behavior that I expect, it is no ones fault but my own. It's my responsibility to develop their character and to train them. So if they're ungrateful and are acting entitled, guess what? It's my fault. If they are running around like crazy animals in the store and won't listen and obey, guess what? It's my fault.

The Lord gave me these little blessings to raise; He entrusted them to me, so the responsibility rests on me to train them up in the ways they should go and to develop their character. What do we believe? How do we act? How do we love and accept love? How do we take care of our bodies? How do we feel and process emotions?

The book I picked up last night says "If a person's character makeup determines his future, then child rearing is primarily about helping children to develop character that will take them through life safely, securely, productively, and joyfully."

I promise the books not called Bound with Kids! Haha! 

How am I supposed to know how to develop their character if I first don't develop my own and then train myself on how to develop theirs?

Part of being faithful with what God gave us is studying the subject, doing the best we can with what we've learned, applying it and ultimately devoting everything we do to God.

I'm grateful for an age where information is so easily accessible. I'm thankful for books like 'Boundaries with Kids,' and 'Have a New Kid by Friday,' among others. I'm grateful for all of the people who have gone before me who have also failed at times, but didn't quit because I can look to them for inspiration and advice.

Although I was disappointed, here's to family fun days that don't go as planned but that push us to continue to learn how to parent for the sake of our children's futures.