The Month I Wasn't Ready For

The month of October was one I’m not sure I ever could have been prepared for. I've had difficulty processing some of its unfortunate events; let alone articulate the sadness I am feeling after losing one of my friends. 

My beautiful friend right before my husband baptized her

My hope is that sharing my journey of how the Father of Mercy, and the God of all healing counsel is walking me through this I can come alongside someone else who is going through a seemingly unbearable situation too. (1 Corinthians 1:3-5)

The morning of my friend’s funeral I was fighting a funk. I wish I could say I was winning, but honestly I hardly had the energy to hold up my gloves to protect myself from the blows coming right at me. My husband stepped in to help me fight and encouraged me to read Psalm 77. 

I love how unfiltered David was with his feelings. He laid it all out there for the Lord knowing that God wasn’t intimidated by his feelings, doubts, or questions. Although the first half of this Psalm seems extremely hopeless, I found his transparency refreshing. 

But halfway through the Psalm David’s tone changes dramatically. He goes from expressing hopelessness, defeat and feeling abandoned to expressing gratitude by saying ‘Once again I’ll go over what God has done, lay out on the table the ancient wonders; I’ll ponder all the things you’ve accomplished, and give a long, loving look at your acts.’ 

Walking into the funeral that afternoon I realized that gratitude was the vehicle that was going to get me through this; and I didn’t have to ride alone. None of us do. I looked around and was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude and immense sense of pride in the community God gave me to do life with.  The way they come together to care for each other through traumatic events is beyond amazing. The way they rally around the hurting and the broken as God restores what the devil stole is inspiring. The commitment they have to walking with people while God turns what was meant for evil into something beautiful is incredible. 

Despite some of the emotions I have been sorting, this morning I woke up overwhelmed to tears with gratitude. Gratitude for the dream I get to be a part of and the people I get to do it with. 

As followers of Christ we are all called to ministry. In ministry the highs are high and the lows are low; but we get to do life and ministry together as a community. In community the sweet becomes sweeter and the bitter becomes bearable. 

Our family is usually intentional about practicing gratitude but through this season I’m learning how gratitude becomes a weapon we use to fight against darkness, hopelessness, and confusion. We don’t have to understand everything in order to be grateful for something. 

Whether you’re going through a low season right now or are at a high point, I challenge you to practice gratitude; it is a weapon. Just like any weapon you have, in order for it to work you have to use it and the more you practice the easier it gets. I also challenge you to not only attend a local church but to jump in, serve and see what God can do through you. It is there you will get to do life the way God intended; together.